League of Gentlemen

The Metrosexual has been test-driving a new range of men's grooming products (men are "groomed;" we women are beautified) from The Refinery, an exclusive spa for gentlemen in Mayfair, London. While we might be tempted to scoff at the pomposity of a private club wherein modern-day Beau Brummells are primped and pampered, The Metrosexual, usually difficult to please, is in fact quite taken with the products. The Shave Cream "blasts out of the pump," he enthuses."You don't need much to make it thick but not heavy. It smells of clove and Armagnac." The Post Shave Balm is "cool to the skin, like a luxe butter. Try some on your lamb chops." The Face Scrub: "The minty memory of barbershops as a boy." And The Moisturiser? "Unreal formaldehyde lab smell with olive oil." Unreal in the surfing sense or in the not-lifelike sense? Available now at Mecca Cosmetica.