The explosive lip gloss

This morning, I called Emirates airlines to check whether I was able to bring into the cabin with me my usual stash of moisturisers, facial sprays and lip-glosses. Apparently, the restriction of liquids in hand luggage only applies to flights going to the UK or USA, so I can happily spritz away from Sydney to Muscat. I got caught up in this security nonsense in August, when I was flying out of New York. (Mind you, the security people at JFK airport completely missed the finger-sized tube of La Prairie face cream I'd smuggled into my luggage with the intention of mixing it with the dressing that comes with the economy-class salad and making an explosive device - and, please, joking about this is not an arrestable offence if you're sitting at home at your desk, so back off Attorney-General's Department). I don't intend to say more about this nonsense, which rivals "duck and cover" as one of the great scams in the history of keep-em-scared-and-tame propaganda but I do refer you to the erudite Patrick Smith of Salon's Ask the Pilot column who beautifully debunks the whole Pythonesque farce we passengers are so passively accepting. (And here is Patrick's latest hilarious column on the subject, posted for Thanksgiving.)